Whenever someone asks me how many children I have the answer is always the same. 4. I gave birth to two beautiful daughters whom I love more than life. I have 2 handsome sons, whom I did not give birth to but they are mine all the same. I have been truly blessed with all 4. As a step parent there is no difference to me. These young men allowed me to be part of their life. They did not have to. They could have given me a hard time. Used the " Your not my Mom" phrase to drive that fact home. BUT not once has either one of them done that. I love both of these young men as if they were my very own and I could not be any prouder of them.

My daughters and I lived, as a family of 3 for 14 years. Their father never had much to do with them. They were my world from their first breaths and will be until my last. They have always been the true constant of my world. I have made many mistakes as a mother and for that I can never apologize enough. My husband has accepted them as his own as well. He refers to them as his daughters, just as I refer to his sons as my sons. There is no reference to step children. They are our children, good or bad.

There will be times when these children will make some horrible decisions and have to suffer through some pretty bad consequenses for them, As a parent I would change places with any of them in a second. But this is not how they will learn about life. The hardest part is watching the lesson they will have to learn. I am sure before its all said and done my heart, as well as my husbands will be ripped to shreds and trampled on but it will all be worth it when they come to us and say thank you for always being there for me and I love you. I will always be there for all of them. No matter what the situation they are my children, no matter how old they get Mama will be here......always. Even when I am not so proud of what you may have chosen to do that will remain constant the love a mother has for her children. I love you Celeste, Tyler, Kersten and Shawn........forever.

Their friends often come over and now I am sort of an "adopted" mom to many of them as well. One in particular tells me I am more like his Mom than his birth mother. This breaks my heart for him but also makes me feel like I am at least making a difference in his life. I give him advice, an ear to listen and a voice to give him guidance.

I worry about their futures and really in all reality do not want to let them go out into the world alone. The time has come to do just that. I know they have to find their way, each on their own, but they know they have some where to land when needed......here at home with Mama.........forever.

Today while shopping there was young mother in the store near me. Her children, both in the buggy were reaching and grabbing everything they could. The smallest one was just knocking things off. The mother LOUDLY says Joey, you are knocking shit off  the shelf. The older boy promptly repeats the same thing at the top of his little lungs. Everyone turns to stare and she doesn't even notice. This continues through out  the time I am in the store and each and everytime the mother says something the boy YELLS it at the top of his lungs. My favorite is when she must have farted cause he sure yelled " Mommy you have shit your pants." Then continues to harrass her buy screaming "You gotta be constipated cause you sure stink"........I had to leave the store.......

Last night some ladies and I had some very intellectual conversations. We are all friends from around the country but yet we have never met in person. We all live different lives. Laughter and joy bring us together. We all enjoy having conversations such as these that I am about to share. I hope you enjoy! See we middleaged women know how to have a good time!!! <3 Missy